Alcohol Warning Labels
Alcohol containers are required to have warning labels. Here are the warnings we should see.

1. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to wake up with breath that could knock a buzzard off a garbage truck at 100 yards.
2. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a jerk.
3. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to SMASH YOUR HEAD IN.
4. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like thish.
5. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the boss what you REALLY think while photocopying your butt at the office Christmas party.
6. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.
7. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what ever happened to your pants anyway.
8. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary (whose species and/or name you can't remember).
9. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burn on the forehead.
10. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, handsomer and smarter than some really, really big guy named "Psycho."
11. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you're invisible (or invincible).
12. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.

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