Data's Jokes

Stranded On A Desert Island

Stranded On A Desert Island

A computer engineer was enjoying a relaxing cruise in the Caribbean when a hurricane came up suddenly and his ship sank. He awoke to find himself washed up on the beach of an apparently uninhabited island. For the next four months he subsisted on bananas and coconut juice while he waited to be rescued.

One day, as he was gazing forlornly out to sea, a small boat came around the island, paddled by the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. She was tall, tanned, and her lustrous hair floated on the gentle sea breeze. He called out and waved, and she beached the boat. In disbelief, he asked, "Where did you come from? How did you get here"?

She said, "I rowed from the other side of the island. I was washed up on this island when my cruise ship sank four months ago."

"Amazing", he said. "I didn't know that anyone else had survived. How many of you are there? You were really lucky to have that rowboat wash up with you."

"It's only me", she said, "and the rowboat didn't wash up - nothing else did."

"Well then", said the man, "how did you get the rowboat?"

"I made the rowboat out of raw materials that I found on the island," replied the woman. "The oars were whittled from gum tree branches, I wove the bottom from palm branches, and the sides and stern came from a eucalyptus tree."

"But, but.....," stuttered the man, "where did you get the tools and hardware?"

"That was no problem," replied the woman. "On the south side of this island is an exposed stratum of alluvial rock. I found that it yielded forgeable ductile iron when I fired it in my kiln, and I was able to make simple tools. But never mind that," she said, "where do you live?"

The engineer confessed that he had been sleeping on the beach. "Well, let's row over to my place", she said. So they got into the boat and rowed over to her side of island. She tied up the rowboat to a sturdy wharf with a beautifully woven hemp rope. They walked up a stone walkway and around a palm tree to an exquisite little bungalow painted in blue and white.

"It's not much," she said, "but I call it home. Sit down, please. Would you like a drink?"

"No thanks," said the man, "I'll puke if I have to drink any more coconut juice."

"It won't be coconut juice, the woman replied. "I have a still; how about a Pina Colada?" Amazed, the man accepted, and they sat down on her comfortable rattan couch to talk.

After a while the woman asked, "Tell me, have you always had a beard?"

"No", the man replied, "I was clean shaven all my life, even on the cruise ship".

"Well if you'd like to shave, there's a razor upstairs in the bathroom cabinet." The engineer, no longer questioning anything, went upstairs and found a razor crafted from a bone handle and two shells honed to a fine edge. He shaved, showered and went back downstairs.

"You look great," said the woman, "I think I'll go slip into something more comfortable."

The man happily sipped on his Pina Colada, and soon the woman returned wearing strategically positioned fig leaves and smelling faintly of gardenia.

"Tell me," she said, "We have both been out here for a long time without companionship. You must know what I mean. Haven't you been lonely? Isn't there anything that you really miss? A basic human need? Something that it would be really nice to have right now?"

The engineer's eyes brightened and his nostrils flared. "There certainly is," he said excitedly, moving closer and fixing her with an intense gaze. "Do you mean to tell me that you have an Internet connection here too?"

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