Real Laws in the United States

Real Laws in the United States
[Or should this be "Real Dumb Laws?"]

In Klamath Falls, Oregon, it is illegal to kick the heads off snakes.

Anyone stealing citrus fruit in Yuma, Arizona can legally be given castor oil as punishment.

It is illegal to wear a mask in Denver, Colorado.
      [Too bad for Tammy Faye Baker!]

An old Boston law prohibited citizens from taking more than one bath each week.

It was once illegal in Boston Massachusetts to own a dog more than ten inches high.

Public checker-playing is against the law in La Crosse, Wisconsin.

In St. Louis Missouri it is against the law to let rubbish collect on your roof.
      [Dem redneks is everyware!]

It is a crime in several states to dance to the "The Star Spangled Banner."

In Alabama it is illegal for a driver to be blindfolded while operating a vehicle.
      [Common-sense isn't!]

In California:

• Community leaders passed an ordinance that makes it illegal for anyone to try and stop a child from playfully jumping over puddles of water.
• The penal code prohibits the shooting of any animal, except a whale, from an automobile.
        [Drive-by Whalings?]

In Connecticut:

• You can be stopped by the police for biking over 65 miles per hour.
• You are not allowed to walk across a street on your hands.

In Florida:

• Women may be fined for falling asleep under a hair dryer, as can the salon owner.
• A special law prohibits unmarried women from parachuting on Sunday or she shall risk arrest, fine, and/or jailing.
        [I have no clue what they were thinking]
• If an elephant is left tied to a parking meter, the parking fee has to be paid just as it would for a vehicle.
        [Makes sense to me!]
• It is illegal to sing in a public place while attired in a swimsuit.
• Men may not be seen publicly in any kind of strapless gown.
        [With straps is fine!]

In Idaho:

• You cannot fish for trout from the back of a giraffe.
        [I guess since you never see an Idaho giraffe they thought it was endangered.]
• You cannot buy a chicken after dark without permission from the sheriff.
        [I guess they sell chickens in doughnut shops there.]

In Illinois it is illegal for anyone to give lighted cigars to dogs, cats, and other domesticated animal kept as pets.
      [Is this really a problem?]

In Indiana:

• Bathing is prohibited during the winter.
• Citizens are not allowed to attend a movie house or theater nor ride in a public streetcar within at least four hours after eating garlic.
        [This would never work in New York.]

In Iowa kisses may last for as much as, but no more than, five minutes.

In Kentucky:

• There is a law against sleeping in a restaurant.
• By law, anyone who has been drinking is "sober" until he or she "cannot hold onto the ground."
• It is illegal to transport an ice cream cone in your pocket.
        [Now that's what I call a sticky situation!]

In Louisana:

• It is illegal to rob a bank and then shoot at the bank teller with a water pistol.
        [Can you imagine how embarrassing it would be if a guy robbed you at gun point and it turned out to be a water gun?]
• Biting someone with your natural teeth is "simple assault," while biting someone with your false teeth is "aggravated assault."

In Maine setting fire to a mule is prohibited.

In Maryland, it is illegal to sell condoms from vending machines with one exception: Prophylactics may be dispensed from a vending machine only "in places where alcoholic beverages are sold for consumption on the premises."

In Massachusetts:

• Mourners at a wake may not eat more than three sandwiches.
• Snoring is prohibited unless all bedroom windows are closed and securely locked.
• An old ordinance declares goatees illegal unless you first pay a special license fee for the privilege of wearing one in public.

In Michigan if a woman leaves her husband, then he is entitled to take possession of all her clothing.

In Nebraska a parent can be arrested if his child cannot hold back a burp during a church service.

In New Mexico females are strictly forbidden to appear unshaven in public.

In New York a fine of $25 can be levied for flirting. This old law specifically prohibits men from turning around on any city street and looking "at a woman in that way." A second conviction for a crime of this magnitude calls for the violating male to be forced to wear a "pair of horse-blinders" wherever and whenever he goes outside for a stroll.

In North Dakota beer & pretzels can't be served at the same time in any bar or restaurant.

In Ohio women are prohibited from wearing patent leather shoes in public.

In Oklahoma:

• Violators can be fined, arrested or jailed for making ugly faces at a dog.
        [If your face is naturally ugly you're S.O.L.]
• Females are forbidden from doing their own hair without being licensed by the state.
• Dogs must have a permit signed by the mayor in order to congregate in groups of three or more on private property.

In Pennsylvania:

• A special cleaning ordinance bans housewives from hiding dirt and dust under a rug in a dwelling.
• No man may purchase alcohol without written consent from his wife.

In Texas:

• A city ordinance states that a person cannot go barefoot without first obtaining a special five-dollar permit.
• It is illegal to take more than three sips of beer at a time while standing.
        [But what about one big gulp?]

In Vermont lawmakers made it obligatory for everybody to take at least one bath each week -- on Saturday night.

In Washington:

• All lollipops are banned.
• A law to reduce crime states: "It is mandatory for a motorist with criminal intentions to stop at the city limits and telephone the chief of police as he is entering the town."
        [No comment needed.]

And in West Virginia no children may attend school with their breath smelling of "wild onions."

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