Tarangula Disease

A bloke (let's say Niel) wins half the local pub lottery and decides to spend at least some of his thirty thousand pound windfall on a holiday. After scanning all the travel brochures he can find, he finally settles on Bali, in Indonesia. From the brochure the weather looks great, the girls seem happy and plentiful and beer is available.

He gets his passport, goes for a visa and finds, as a requirement, that he needs a series of vaccination shots. Disliking needles intensely, he nonetheless finds himself standing in the queue at the Travellers' Medical Centre and, a short time later, rubbing a very sore arm. He can't believe how many shots he has to have... typhoid, cholera, yellow fever, bubonic plague, the list goes and on. Just when he thinks that he must run the course the doctor produces a needle that is as long as his arm.

"Jesus Christ," Niel exclaims, "what the bloody hell is that for?"

The doctor explains that it is the innoculation against 'Tarangula Disease', and that 'Tarangula Disease' is particularly prevalent in Bali and that everyone has to have this shot. The doctor explains further that while it's not really painful, the symptoms of tarangula disease consist of the left testicle falling to the ground and the victim becoming tired and listless. Niel agrees that he doesn't want to contract such a loathesome affliction and subjects himself to the shot.

A week later Niel is bopping around the streets of Bali, sore arm notwithstanding, having a fantastic time. The weather is great, the girls are plentiful and willing and the beer is cheap and icy cold.

After one day of fun, frolic and adventure, Niel is returning to his hotel room when he hears this terrible screaming coming from the road in front of him. He makes his way towards it and comes across a man standing in the middle of the road screaming his head off. The terrible thing, for Niel, is that while this man is obviously in terrible agony the crowd are just continuing on their way ignoring him. Niel can't believe it. After a couple of minutes of watching the man, still just standing in the street screaming, he thinks he has to do something.

He approaches the man and asks him, "What the hell is wrong?" The man looks at Niel through glazed eyes and manages to cease screaming just long enough to wheeze in halted speech, "Tarangula Disease..."

Niel is aghast, the man continues screaming. This is far worse than what the doctor had said... Niel can't believe that the doctor had got it so wrong. Tarangula disease is obviously an agonising ailment. He thanked his lucky stars that he had that vaccination.

He asks the still screaming man if there is anything he can do. The man makes a huge effort, stops screaming and pleads, "yes, please lift my foot??" Niel says, "what has your foot got to do with anything?" And the man replies, "I'm standing on my left testicle and I'm too bloody tired and listless to lift it myself!"

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