Friends Don't Let Friends Get Married

I saw in the paper the other day that there's a serious shortage of men in Washington DC. I commented on this fact to my wife and told her I might just go there. I added that the article said that men could earn $50 a nite easily as a gigolo. She smiled and said, "And exactly how do you intend to live on $150 a month?"

My wife sez she holds me responsible for most of our martial problems. Just goes to show ya how much she knows -- I'm never home.

I asked my wife the other day what she liked best about me; my firm, trim body or my intellect. She said, "Your sense of humor dear."

I found the neatest way to make my wife a more careful and defensive driver. I pointed out that if she's ever in an accident, the paper's gonna print her real age.

My wife came home from the doctor's the other day and said that he told her she couldn't make love. Now, I'm wondering exactly how he found out.

Sometimes women say the strangest things when ya get them all upset and flustered. Just the other day my wife put her hands on her hips and said "You're only interested in one thing, and you can't even remember what the hell it is!"

My wife is so talented. She does the best bird imitations. She watches me like a hawk.

My girlfriend keeps dropping hints about getting married. Last week she got a one year subscription to Modern Bride magazine. I renewed it for five years.

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