How To Be Annoying During Your Air Force Ergocycle Test

1. Wear a bike safety helmet to the test.
      Optional: Include knee and elbow pads.
2. Demand that the tester wear a reflective road guard vest "for safety."
3. Attach a horn to the handlebars. Whenever the tester adjusts thetension, honk and yell, "Get the hell out of the way, idiot!"
4. Bring a bike bell and attach it to the handle bars. Ring it once every 15 seconds "just to maintain your rhythm."
5. Attach streamers to the hand grips.
6. Bring a playing card & clothespin to the test. Demand that they beinserted in the spokes.
7. Pop a wheelie.
      Optional: Do an axle grind on the nearest table.
      Optional: Bunny hop the bike.
8. At the beginning of the test, peddle while standing. Tell the tester, "I'm going uphill now, you doofus."
9. Halfway, stop peddling, lower your head, stick your butt in the air and yell, "I'm about to take the lead in the Tour de France!"
10. Signal all turns.
11. Make motorcycle sounds. Be sure to shift gears when the tester changes the tension.
12. Bring a stack of newspapers. Deliver them.
13. Periodically extend arms and legs, yelling "Look ma, no hands!"
14. Bring a friend to ride on the handle bars.
       Optional: Attach a kiddie seat to the back. Bring your kid.
15. Bring a bike lock. Be sure to secure the bike when you leave.

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