Data's Jokes
If You Get Caught Sleeping On The Job Excuses
If You Get Caught Sleeping On The Job Excuses
- They told me at the blood bank this might happen.
- This is just a 15 minute power nap like they raved about in that time-management course you sent me to.
- I was working smarter - not harder.
- Whew! I musta left the top off the liquid paper.
- Oh, I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on our mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm!
- This is one of the seven habits of highly effective people!
- I was testing the keyboard for drool-resistance.
- I was trying to remember where that difficult 'Z' key was, and now it is indelibly imprinted on my brain, or at least my forehead.
- I'm in the management training program.
- I'm actually doing a 'Stress Level Elimination Exercise Plan' (S.L.E.E.P.) I learned at the last mandatory seminar you made me attend.
- This is in exchange for the six hours last night when I dreamed about work!
- I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work-related stress. Do you discriminate against people who practice Yoga?
- Darn! Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution to our biggest problem.
- Uh, hey, whaddaya expect... The coffee machine is broken...
- Someone must've put decaf in the wrong pot.
- Boy, that cold medicine I took last night just won't wear off!
- Ah, the unique and unpredictable circadian rhythms of the workaholic!
- I wasn't sleeping. I was trying to pick up my contact lens without my hands.
- The mailman flipped out and pulled a gun so I was playing dead to avoid getting shot.
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