Medical Dictionary
A helpful guide for the layman to Medical Terminology.

Admitting	To confess
Artery	The study of paintings
Bacteria	Back door to the cafeteria
Barium	What you do when CPR fails
Benign	What you be after you be eight
Cesarean Section	A neighborhood in Rome
Cardiology	The study of Las Vegas
CATscan	Searching for kitty
Cauterize	Made eye contact with her
Colic	A sheep dog
Coma	A punctuation mark
Congenital	Friendly
D & C	Where Washington is
Dilate	To live long
Enema	Not a friend
E.R.	What you say when you don't know the answer
Fester	Quicker than someone else
Fibula	A small lie
Flight For Life	To flee from criminals
Genital	Non-Jewish person
G.I. Series	World Series of military baseball
Geriatrics	See Films, Jerry Lewis
Gynacology	The study of disapearances
Hangnail	Where you put your coat
Impotent	Distinguished, well known
Internal Medicine	Drugs taken orally or by injection
Lab	The hospital mascot
Labor Pain	Getting hurt at work
Medical Staff	A Doctor's cane
Morbid	A higher offer
Nitrate	Lower than the day rate
Node	Was aware of
Oncology	The study of Beepers
Organic	Musical
Orthopedics	To kill bugs with one's feet
Outpatient	A person who has fainted
Pap Smear	A fatherhood test
Pelvis	Second cousin to Elvis
Physiology	The study of Alkaseltzer
Plastic Surgery	The repair of Christmas toys Dec 26th
Post-operative	A letter carrier
Protein	In favor of young people
Recovery Room	Place to do upholstery
Rectum	Damn near killed him
Secretion	Hiding anything
Seizure	Roman emperor
Surgery	Knight Court
Tablet	A small table
Terminal Illness	Getting sick at the airport
Tumor	An extra pair
Urine	Opposite of you're out
Varicose	Near by
X-Ray	Short for a divorceé named Raymond

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